This week has honestly been one of my most difficult weeks in my whole mission. I have felt like we have been doing EVERYTHING in our power to be diligent, humble, obedient, effective and more like Christ. And everything seemed to fall through. I feel like I have reached an interesting point in my mission. I have developed an incredible love for the people here. When they do not want to listen to us, my heart actually hurts and my eyes are usually a little watery as we walk away. I have a profound knowledge of God´s plan for us and I know what awaits us if we can be obedient and faithful in this life. I have felt my Savior´s love for me and for God´s children. I have seen miracles and felt disappointments that I never would have thought I would feel. I have so many jumbled thoughts with the power of faith and the conflict with the agency that every person has. I know if I can have a perfect faith that I can see miracles. But i also know that every person has agency and will make choices for themselves. I know that I need to sleep at night but I know that Satan never rests, so I need to work a million times harder to make up for lost time. Sorry hahah these are just a bunch of jumbled thoughts in my head right now.
The weather has been very cold and very rainy, not trying to help our moods hahahaha.
One of the best things as a missionary is seeing converts who remain active in the church after years. It gives me so much hope, and I am so grateful for them and their examples. We went looking for a recent convert whose information was is our area book but we had never seen him at church. We went to find him, and turns out he travels a lot for business but goes to church in the areas that he is! He has been to the temple and everything. After a hard week, taking with this man yesterday made us so happy. Little did he know that he gave us a little bit of light and joy in our hearts.
I know that we just need to put our trust in God. I KNOW that he is our Heavenly Father and that He loves us more than we can comprehend. If we trust him, everything will work out ok.
We have been looking for references like CRAZY!!! We are going to find the chosen people in our area!!
Maria Louisa - her landlords ar extremely Catholic and threatened her that if she talked to us they would kick her our of her apartment. Poor woman, so we have not seen her. Hna Z actually got shocked pushing her doorbell so maybe is was like a sign
Matilde - a 7 months pregnant,19 year old who we contacted with the dad of a recent convert. She is literally passing through the trial of a lifetime. She lived in a pueblo outside of Xalapa, was walking back to her house with her husband one night and there were men waiting for them. They shot and killed her husband and shot her in the leg and her bone completely broke in half. She is with her mom now in this little apartment, but in the lesson there were a lot of tears and a lot of emotions. She is obviously so nervous for what is about to happen in her life, but I know we were able to bring her a little bit of peace. We are going to visit her tomorrow so hopefully all goes well!
Eucebia - a sweet fat old lady who cannot read. We went to talk with her, and little by little her grandchildren came into the room, all of them with their homework asking for help because they have no one to help them. It is so sad, because we can see the desire to learn, but they don´t have anyone with the capabilities to help
I love you all! I love this church and I know with my whole heart that it is true!!!
Love, Hermana Westergard
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